This is one of those questions which can have a different answer depending on which expert you ask. As a former College Lecturer I am confident I can explain the answer in a generic kind of way, I’ll do my best to keep it as short and simple as possible!
If you don’t agree with my explanations – that’s wonderful too, as it shows you are a free-thinker proudly exercising your own free will to decide what you believe for yourself based on your own life experience and what you believe is right, rather than taking any advice and information provided to you by others.
At the very least you will have some more food for thought, and further understanding about what a Spiritual Ceremony means for the majority of people here in Ireland who have some form of Spiritual belief but who would not necessarily classify themselves as being Religious.
If we are to go back to basics and define ceremony into it’s most basic form, you would have two ceremony types:
Spiritual or
non-Spiritual
The reason I placed Spiritual first at No.1 is not that it is any more important than a non-Spiritual ceremony but that a Spiritual ceremony is believed to be the first and oldest form of ceremony which has existed since the oldest original of ancient times. Ancient times when the world was at peace and everyone lived in harmony with nature and the land with their creation stories, which became the blueprint for modern Spirituality as we know it.
The original reason for holding ceremony in such ancient times, was to create a Spiritual connection to the Divine Creator and bring about a Divine blessing for a certain intention and/or outcome to occur.
For example in ancient Ireland there were annual ceremonies on the Celtic Calendar celebrate the seasons and invoke a Divine blessing from the Creator for example for an abundant harvest of crops along with various blessings on the people and their lives at certain times of the year.
Many people around the world have revived those ancient traditions and they are celebrated to this day. Here in Ireland for many families and communities, those spiritual ceremonies of the Celtic Calendar never stopped and have continued since time began.
In the case of a marriage ceremony, the Spiritual intention of the original ancient marriage ceremony was to create a connection to the Divine Creator (or Great Spirit) in order to invoke a Divine blessing of good wishes for the couple and good luck for their marriage.
Whereas others here in Ireland and around the world, who don’t believe anything unseen or magical is possible will refer to ceremonial traditions simply as “superstitions” – and that’s OK too because in modern times we are all encouraged to have our own free will.
The abolition and hijacking of indigenous Spirituality which occurred during the Middle Ages when Religions were introduced, meant that indigenous Spirituality including ceremonies became an essential part of Religious doctrines, which required that ceremonies had to be conducted a certain way.
In the modern times we are in now going back full circle – people living in Ireland are no longer required to follow a Religion in order to exist in society. Instead people are encouraged to have their own free will and beliefs about what Spirituality and the meaning of life is for them.
Because of this we now see the wonderful introduction of the non-denominational and non-Religious legal marriage ceremonies, along with completely non-Spiritual ceremonies for those who don’t have any Religious beliefs or any belief in Spirituality of any kind. Along with mixed faith and unique personalised ceremonies to suit the couples own wishes.
So in a nutshell – a Spiritual ceremony is any non-Religious ceremony created to suit the free will and Spirituality of the couple, rather than the Spiritual beliefs and rules of a Religion.
In its most basic form – a Spiritual marriage ceremony is a non-Religious ceremony with Spiritual elements included to suit the beliefs and wishes of the couple. Most often departed loved ones are welcomed to the sacred space of the ceremony along with the wedding guests and made to feel very much part of the celebrations.
There may also be a memorial candle lit and placed either on the ceremony table itself or on a nearby smaller table placed to the side of the ceremony table. Any such memorial candle may also be accompanied by cherished photograph of the departed.
Depending on the wishes of the couple, a Spiritual ceremony can also be designed with a Religious feel. This can be done by including Religious elements of the couples choosing, which can also include mentioning God where appropriate – which can be really wonderful for a Religious family, where their adult children don’t wish to be married in a Church.
As a non-denominational Holistic Minster, I am not required to wear vestments or robes or be addressed with a Religious Title during a ceremony unless the couple request it. Every marriage ceremony I create and conduct is designed to be unique and special to suit the beliefs and wishes of the couple every time.
A sand ceremony, or Unity sand ceremony, is a very beautiful way to declare your love for each other and further bind your marriage vows.
Typically conducted after the vows and ring exchange, a sand ceremony includes a blessing or reading spoken by the Celebrant / Officiant, along with the couple each taking turns pouring colored sand into a single glass jar, bottle or other container.
By the combining of alternating layers of colored sand, a beautiful and symbolic memento of your wedding day is created.The sand ceremony is suited to couples of all ages, and is also considered an ideal choice for couples with children, as it is a novel way to include the children in the wedding ceremony.
The sand ceremony also provides another opportunity for listening to music, and will provide some very memorable photo opportunities.
Sand Ceremony Bottles or Jars
If you would like to purchase a shaped bottle or jar for your sand ceremony from my designer range, I can supply you with your glass bottle (or jar) directly from the factory. Please see my Sand Ceremony Kits page for details.
How Much Sand Do you Need?
That’s a very good question. You want to be sure you can fill your bottle or jar right to the top. As a rule, 1.5 times the size of the bottle or jar. For example a 500ml bottle will need 750 grams of sand. I have certain colors of sand in stock at €16 kg. Colors I have in stock at the moment are: white, beige, several shades of blue, teal, green, eggplant (purple), red, orange, yellow and metallic silver.
Can We Use Beach Sand from our Favourite Beach?
If you would like to collect beach sand for use in your sand unity ceremony, it needs to be washed to remove any organic (& smelly) matter. Your beach sand must also be dried after washing and perfectly dry for your ceremony, or it simply won’t pour. It’s best to triple wash the sand in a bucket or large bowl, rinsing and washing three times. You can do this over a bath or laundry sink. Once washed, spread the sand in a glass baking dish (other kinds of baking dish may be damaged by the sand) and bake in a hot oven at 180 degrees for 20 minutes. Remove from the oven, stir through to check for any damp patches. If necessary, return to the oven for another 10 minutes. Allow sand to cool down fully before pouring into a storage container.
Sand Ceremony Example Scripts
The following are just some of the examples of how a sand ceremony can be worded. If you prefer, I can also work with you to create your own wording for your own very special Unity Sand Ceremony.
It can be time-consuming to find Unity sand ceremony examples and ideas for wording your ceremony, so I have collected some of the most popular sand ceremony scripts and wordings and provided them here for your convenience, to help get your ideas started.
The following is a selection of popular ideas and examples for your Unity sand ceremony, of course if you don’t like any of these you can always copy any parts or ideas you like and create your own script.
Sand Ceremony 1
PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2, today you join your separate lives together. The two separate bottles of sand symbolize your separate lives, separate families and separate sets of friends. They represent all that you are and all that you will ever be as an individual. They also represent your lives before today.
As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be.
Sand Ceremony 2
PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2 you have sealed your relationship with your vows and by the giving and receiving of rings and this is a pledge between two people who agree that they will commit themselves to one another throughout their lives.
Today, this relationship is also symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand. One, representing you, PARTNER 1 and One Representing you PARTNER 2 and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be.
As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated, our prayer for you today is that your lives together would be blended like the seven seas and may your love swirl around each other like the changing tides.
Sand Ceremony 3
Today, this relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these two individual containers of sand.
One representing you PARTNER 1 and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be and the other representing you PARTNER 2 and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be.
As these two containers of sand are poured into the third container, the individual containers of sand will no longer exist, but will be joined together as one.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage be.
Sand Ceremony 4
Three colors of sand are layered in a vase to symbolize the importance of the individuals within the marriage and the joining of the two lives into one entity.
The sculpture begins with a layer of neutral sand to symbolize that the marriage is grounded.
The next layers are the individual colors representing the bride and groom which symbolizes that the foundation of the marriage is based on the strength of the individuals.
The final layer is the bride and groom’s colors combined to symbolize the joining of their lives as one in marriage.
Family Sand Ceremony 5
PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other and honor your children as well.
Your family relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these individual containers of sand; one, representing you, PARTNER 1 and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, one representing you, PARTNER 2, and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be and another container for each child.
There are children who will share in this marriage.
The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon them.
We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between the children and the adults being married.
As you each hold your sand the separate containers of sand represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique.
As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one family.
You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the uniting of the children and bride and groom into one.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your family be.
Family Sand Ceremony 6
Four colors of sand are layered in a vase to symbolize the importance of the individuals within the marriage and the joining of the two lives into one entity.
The sculpture begins with a layer from each mother. This is to symbolize that the marriage is grounded by each of their families.
The next layers are the individual colors representing BRIDE and GROOM, which symbolizes that the foundation of the marriage is based on the strength of each other as individuals.
The final layer is PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2’s colors combined to symbolize the joining of their lives as one in marriage.
Family Sand Ceremony 7
Each of you in attendance this evening were asked to be here because you hold a special place in Groom’s and Bride’s life.
You came to honor and witness their love and commitment. PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2 wanted to make each of you a tangible part of this ceremony therefore, as each of you arrived this evening and entered into this scared space you were asked to spoon a small amount of white sand into a container.
They chose white sand because of the purity of your love and support to them and their family.
PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2 have chosen varying shades of blue sand for themselves and for Children’s names.
Each shade of blue represents each one of them.
These blues stand for the peace and calm they feel when together. It stands for the ocean waters deep and full of mystery and beauty.
Water that sustains all of life…
Water a great conductor of energy…
Water a simple element yet it can change and adapt to any form or environment.
At this time I ask you, PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2 to pour some of your sand into the container because your marriage is the foundation of your family.
Now, I ask that (Children’s names) join you in pouring their sand together with yours to create a beautiful flow of love and energy.
Lastly, I will fill the remainder of the container with more white sand.
This white sand stands for Universal Love…
A love that is eternal and never-ending.
(Family names) please hold hands.
I ask all in attendance to join me in a prayer of blessing upon this beautiful family.
Family Sand Ceremony 8
PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other.
Your relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these individual containers of sand; one, representing you, PARTNER 1 and all that you were, all that you are, and all that you will ever be, and the other representing you, PARTNER 2, and all that you were and all that you are, and all that you will ever be.
As you each hold your sand the separate containers of sand represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique. As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one family.
At this time, I would invite the parents of PARTNER 1 and PARTNER 2 to come forward. These four vials of sand represent the bride and groom and each family.
You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the uniting of the two families into one.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your families be.
Family Sand Ceremony 9
Parents, today you are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of your lives with each other and honor your children as well.
Your family relationship is symbolized through the pouring of these individual containers of sand; one, representing each one of you, all that you are, and all that you will ever be.
There are children who will share in this marriage. The gathering of this new family will have a deep influence upon them.
We realize that in order for the home to be a happy one, it is essential that there be love and understanding between the children and the adults being married.
As you each hold your sand the separate containers of sand represent your lives to this moment; individual and unique.
As you now combine your sand together, your lives also join together as one family.
You may now blend the sand together symbolizing the uniting of the children and groom/bride and groom/bride into one.
Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into the individual containers, so will your marriage and your family be. With this marriage, these two families are joined.
(To the kids:)
Each of you are now a resource into which, as family members, you may come to, throughout your life times, for direction, meaning, and love.
Your Parents strive to provide not only the basic needs, but a nurturing and loving environment in which each of you find the confidence to reach the highest goals of your hearts, minds, and spirits.
This is part of their vision of what your family is. Do you each accept the responsibility of being an important part in the building of this family, and to forever contribute your best efforts to maintain the closeness and strength? If so, say, “We do.”
The Oathing stone ceremony hails from times of old where stones were considered sacred in ancient folklore. Many stone circles and megalithic sites still exist today, denoting the significance of stones ancient Celtic lore.
It is believed by many that stones are able to store energy and even knowledge & wisdom North American Indians consider stones and crystals to be alive and having a Spirit all of their own, referring to them as “mineral beings”.
The “Oathing Stone” ceremony as an addition to a Wedding ceremony is a lovely symbolic thing to do where a stone is either passed around to the guests, who each hold the stone in turn and infuse their blessing for the happy couple and their future life together.
The stone is passed back to the Celebrant and placed onto the altar table for the remainder of the ceremony, and the couple have a lovely keepsake of their wedding day.
Another idea is the Oathing stone can instead be held up by the Celebrant and guests asked to send their love and good wishes for the happy couple into the stone.
The Oathing stone is an extra seal and symbol of the Marriage Vows which have just been spoken.
Oathing stone can also be used as part of a Vow Renewal Ceremony, or Baby naming, or any type of ceremony where the wording can be adjusted to suit the context of their use.
Oathing stones are one of my specialities, I can help you to create a beautiful stone for your ceremony which you will cherish for years to come. Your stone can be carved with a special symbol, or your Initials, or names or other special word for example a symbol in Ogham tree language.
This is one for all the wine connoissuers out there .. inside a mini wine box place your love letters to each other along with your favourite drop of red .. who could think of anything more meaningful than your own time capsule to be opened on your 5 year anniversary?
On your 5th wedding anniversary, have a special ceremony of your own to open the wine box, or on a special dinner date, read your love letters to each other and of course toast to your love and happiness while drinking your bottle of wine together.
Depending on the size of your wine box you may also have space inside to place two special wine glasses.
Some couples love this idea so much, that they will replace the wine bottle and love letters to be opened on their next multiple of 5 years anniversary!
Wine boxes can be ordered from wine and spirit companies, so check with them directly. Boxes can also be ordered from online suppliers such as Ebay or Etsy where you can find a great range of designs, including those pictured on this page.
Sláinte!
Example Ceremony Wording
[Partner 1 & Partner 2] have chosen to create a Love Letter & Wine Box time capsule. This hand made box contains a specially chosen bottle of wine along with two glasses.
[Partner 1 & Partner 2] have each written letters to each other. Their letters describe the good qualities they find in one another, the reasons they fell in love, and their reasons for choosing to marry, along with a personal message to each other.
Their letters are sealed in individual envelopes and they have not seen what the other has written. In a moment, [Partner 1 & Partner 2] will each place their letters carefully inside the box. Together they will close and seal the wine box to form a time capsule.
Their time capsule is to be opened on their 5th wedding anniversary. At which time they will also open the bottle of wine, read their letters to each other and enjoy a drink as part of their 5th wedding anniversary celebrations.
[Music plays while love letters are placed inside and the wine box is sealed]
The tradition of ring warming has it’s roots in Ireland and is a custom of old.
The idea of “warming” your rings during the wedding ceremony, before you place them on each other’s fingers for life.
The power of all the good wishes flowing through the wedding rings on your wedding day is enough to see any couple through any hard times and all the good tiems, their whole lives through
In a moment, we will pass around the wedding rings, we call this a ring warming. As there are so many people here, we will pass the rings only to those in the front two rows.
For those in the front two rows, Aoife & Peter are asking that as you pause and hold the wedding rings for a moment, that you will send your positive vibes, blessings and prayers for their marriage into the rings before passing them to the person next to you.
We ask that those of you in the remaining rows send your good wishes for Aoife & Peter into their wedding rings as the music plays.
Once the weddings rings have made their way back to me, Aoife & Peter will exchange the rings and carry your love and good wishes with them, as they embark on their new journey through life together.
[ Rings are passed along the first two rows while music plays]
Wedding rings are returned to the celebrant, who passes the wedding rings to the couple.
Believe it or not, this essential detail is sometimes forgotten! But not any more, not with me anyway. Not since I arrived at three separate weddings within a few weeks of each other, to find the ceremony table completely empty each time. Each time I improvised and cut some fresh ivy and flowers from the gardens outside (with permission) to make a lovely fresh arrangement, which was certainly beautiful.
But I have now made it my responsibility to ensure this never happens again to any of the couples I work with. The last thing you want to see is an empty ceremony table. You have gone to so much trouble to make everything else on the day look so beautiful, and a bare ceremony table is not a good look at all. So many times I have also borrowed a vase filled with fresh flowers from elsewhere within the wedding venue, as a ceremony table centre-piece. Usually from a hall table somewhere within the building, always with permission from the venue’s wedding co-ordinator of course.
Even if you don’t like flowers, I have some great ideas for you to help you ensure that your ceremony table is decorated perfectly, and here are some of them. Even the most basic solution really adds a little something special to your ceremony space.
My No.1 suggestion for your ceremony table centrepiece – if you will have a floral or greenery centre-piece for your “Top table”, (Bride & Groom table at the reception) this can serve a dual purpose as the centre-piece on your ceremony table as well – and the look is absolutley stunning!
Where do you find the floral centre-piece for your top table you might ask? Here are my 5 essential tips:
1. Provided by the Venue
Firstly – it’s always best to first have a chat with your wedding venue’s event co-ordinator, to find out what options they might already provide you for your top table centre-piece, as standard in your wedding package. Some wedding venues take great pride in providing a floral arrangment for the top table made from fresh greenery and florals picked on-site from their own garden, included as part of your wedding package. Or they may even have a standing order with a local florist.
If your top-table centre-piece will be provided by your venue as part of your wedding package, it will definitely be most suitable for dual use as your ceremony table centre-piece so please don’t hesitate to ask your wedding venue if it’s already included.
2. Skilfully Handmade with Love
If you have a beloved family member or friend who enjoys handcrafts, don’t be shy to ask if they would like to make you a centrepiece arrangement with flowers and greenery fresh from their garden (or silk flowers) which can double as both the centrepiece for your ceremony table, and your reception top table. You will find the florist oasis foam block for the base is readily available from your nearest craft shop, which can of course be purchased well in advance. A beloved family member who enjoys handcrafts would be so honoured with this role, so please don’t be shy to ask.
3. Made with Silk Flowers
If you enjoy handcrafts yourself, you may wish to make your own table centre-piece from silk flowers and greenery which can be used for your ceremony table, and your reception top table. All are available from your nearest craft shop, and you can also order online. The advantage of working with silk flowers, is that the arrangement can be made well in advance, It’s always good to have something you have prepared earlier! These days the quality of silk flowers and greenery available is SO realistic – it can be very difficult to tell the difference from the real thing!
You will find plenty of tutorials on Youtube, and ideas for inspiration on Pinterest on how to make your own centre-piece arrangment. You may also be so inspired to make your own bridal bouquet from silk flowers also, as well as other florals required on the day.
4. Florist supplied
Fresh Flowers – if you really have your heart set on fresh flowers – you can ask your florist to provide a table centrepiece for you. This can be used for both your ceremony table, and your reception top table. Please don’t hesitate to chat to me before speaking to your florist and I can give you some useful questions to ask.
5. Keep it Simple – the Basic Form
The basic ceremony table centre-piece which looks amazing is fresh ivy from your own garden, the garden of a beloved family member, or even garden of your wedding venue (with permission of course)
A great idea if your wedding venue has extensive landscaped gardens abundant with ivy. I can prepare this for you on the day very quickly and easily and it looks fabulous. One glorious summers day I was conducting a marriage ceremony a lovely 5 star mansion house, where I discovered there was no floral centrepiece for the ceremony table.
The kind butler offered to pick the ivy for me. He was very proud to give me an extra special tip! For the best ivy, always pick the ivy growing up the side of a tree trunk. The leaves will be much closer together as the ivy defies the forces of gravity to grow upwards. This option is especially good if you are concerned that someone present may have allergies to certain fresh flowers.
Above: Silk arrangement I’ve made from silk vines of willow leaves, and eucalyptus leaves, with sprays of silk Gypsophilia inserted at various points. Very simple but so elegant.
If you don’t have any other options, I would be delighted to bring the silk centre-piece above for use on your ceremony table (no extra cost).
Celebrant Guarantee
As a valued member of the Enchanted Ceremonies group of non-denominational Celebrants, Holistic Ministers & Solemnisers, there is always a backup Celebrant on hand in case of an unforeseen emergency - this is your Celebrant guarantee!
Your Special Day
If you believe your ceremony should be an important part of your special day, no matter how big or small your ceremony wishes may be, you have found the right place.
If you would like a ceremony as unique as you are - created to suit your own style, please don't hesitate to get in touch so I can answer any questions you might have - and to find out if I am available on your big day. I would be honoured to work with you!
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